Thursday, March 4, 2010

Anime, the choice drug

I’ve been an anime connoisseur for nine years roughly, and have seen the ups and downs of the industry. The quality of anime titles ranges yearly and some anime peak, reaching untold heights of popularity. But, anime fans become addicted, and end up in a never ending cycle. Except, this cycle involves fantasizing about 2D anime characters.

In 2006 the otherwordly Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya was broadcast. The series was stylized by jaw-dropping animation, a mysterious plot and a hysterical titular character. Haruhi generated huge fandom both in Japan, and on a global scale. Extreme Haruhi fandom led to the establishment of Haruhism. Haruhists (as they like to be known) are a cult following the lore of Queen Haruhi, believing in espers, time travelers and aliens. It is amazing that an anime detailing the life of a Japanese highschool girl with god-like powers can be influential in society.

Narutards are equally as disturbing and are infatuated with the innerworkings of fictional characters’ relationships. Paramount to this is the rise in Sasuke and Naruto fanfiction. The fanfiction offers interpretations of Naruto and Sasuke relationships, and sometimes other pairings. Some of the works depict sexual relations and unnecessary details. Any person can see that these retards have nothing better to do than dream about their favourite characters getting it on. Otherwise, they would all be watching One Piece (the number 1 show in Japan) brimming to the rim with epicness that outmatches the fantasies any Narutard can think of. In reality they would rather watch a 100 more fillers about Naruto’s flatulence and the perverted escapades of Jiraiya.

This leads me to the conclusion that anime is a drug. Once you inject yourself, you’ll be tripping over the variety of anime. Confounded you will try and muster up the courage to watch as much as you can. In truth you will end up failing miserably, and probably living in your cousin’s basement. Finally when you’re on your deathbed uttering your last words, a Narutard will be laughing like a retard enjoying his Naruto and chicken wings. Awaiting him will be 200 filler episodes, examining Kakashi’s earlobe and Sakura’s love hate relationship with Naruto. RAMjew


Richard said...

The second part of this post is why i do NOT watch long ass anime series'

p.s: I prefer being called Dick!

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